If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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