Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
