I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
