Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
