found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
