How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
