Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
