I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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