so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
