They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
