I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
