my sisters under your porch take her home
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
