My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I could fuck to npr.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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