I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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