i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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