apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
