you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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