there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize