Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
