Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
