I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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