I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
