Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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