Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
