If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it's like iHOP with fire
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Found your dick twin last night
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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