so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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