did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
