PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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