We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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