I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
