I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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