I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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