And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
