my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
