how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
