Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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