What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
