if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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