we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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