Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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