he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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