Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
