I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
