is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's like iHOP with fire
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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