Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
