I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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