My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
4 words: hood of his car
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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