at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
