let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
