Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
