She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
