you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
