So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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