I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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