He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
