I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
