Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
