i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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