so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
